Statistics say that in 2019, full-time employed women earned $0.89 for every dollar men earned, based on average hourly wages. Yes, of course, I want my 11 cents because I work as hard as my male colleagues, if not harder. However, there are moments when I am bothered more by attitudes and mindsets than this 11 cents in arrear.
I have a colleague who is extremely polite and gentle with me. Every time I see him, he treats me like a British royal. He makes visibly extra efforts to open the office doors, hold the elevator, or stand by unusually long to give me the way. He can't accept that I pay for my coffee or take my car if we go out for coffee together. Once I asked 'why do you want to pay for my coffee' and he said he should pay because he is a man. I should be happy about it, right? But it annoys me to the core. By treating me differently, he reminds me that he sees me more as a woman than a colleague. I wonder why or how gender comes between two colleagues, but it always does. Instead of appreciating me for my talent, he appreciates my look. He tends to make comments about how fresh or tired I look. It makes me sad and bothers me to the level of disgust (especially on days when I am not in a Himalayan yogi mood). Once I expressed my feeling to him that I do not like this extra treatment, and his facial expression was - 'but you are a woman'. I could be a fellow scientist, colleague, or policy advisor! But in his eyes - I was a woman! I may sound like a feminist, but because I don't see the role of my gender in most of the things I do on a day, I consider myself an equalist.
(Disclaimer: All men may not have the same attitude.)
Photo: collected
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